This post is dedicated to a girl from Idaho. Her story has inspired me to write about the struggle children face in homes where alcohol takes the seat of priority and destruction. Robbing them of love and compassion from the very people they look up to for love and protection.
The gentle sobbing of little souls in a world rules by the devil bottle of despair and destruction. Taken their parents with it.
Mama, look me in the eye. Tell me you will never deny; there is pain in my eyes. Tell me, there’s tears of sorrow and darkness of confusion beaming with fear.
Tell me you care, because I’m longing to hear you say it and to see you showing it. Tell me you love us, because I’m at the edge of despair, waiting for you to show us your love.
The babies cry for a mother to soothe them. To give them a cuddle, change their nappies feed them love to nourish their growth. They longing a stroke from your soft hands combing their hair.
Their screams hurts my hearts, piercing my ears until my blood flushes through my body. Sinking my soul. The bitterness of your absence sweeps through our home.
The echoes of my heart cries in the middle reach the valley of water beneath the earth. As I lay on my pillow in the dark next to the babies.
The suckling of their thumbs like whispers of sadness that can’t be explained. Just as a lullaby that puts me to sleep through the night.
The peaceful, heart wrenching look on their faces as they sleep the end of another day without their souls. (their mother)
I’m still a baby looking after babies. I lost my childhood to motherhood. My life is on hold. I’m aging through in the speed of light to save the babies you have abandoned.
I try to look after the little kids you have abandoned. But i could never replace you in their eyes and gentle souls longing for a mother’s warmth. Missing their mother smile. They can’t recognize you without your smile.
You wake up in the morning before anyone. Walk out the door to the store to pick up yourself a bottle of whiskey for your breakfast. All while you are still under the influence of alcohol from yesterday.
The kids awoke to a beautiful morning without a smile from you to wish them a fine day. Their sound echoes across the house as they call you out. Going from room to room in search of the mother they once had.
Their memories of a mother that once was part of their being. Has slowly transformed into a mirage. Torturing their souls as they cling on to me.
I could hear the kids crying from down the street as I came home after school. I walked in the house to the babies alone. They haven’t been fed since the breakfast I gave them.
They’ve been in dirty nappies the whole time I was at school. They were alone, dirty, hungry, and exhausted, their vocal cords cracking from crying.
The dishes piling in the sink. The house is still messy and untouched since I left for school this morning.
I looked for you all over the house. You were nowhere to be found. I opened the door to the porch. You weren’t there.
What do I see? the chair broken and fallen on one side. Empty bottles of wine cluttered the area. A broken glass and the ashtray full with ashes and cigarette butts.
A bottle of empty whiskey next to the ashtray. And empty beer bottles lining up against the wall.
You simply drank till your mind lost all its wisdom. Then you walked out the house, living the babies alone, abandoned, and hungry.
Part two of this post will be added as soon as I can.
